What's Happening Isn't Normal

The other day I wrote a quick Facebook status expressing mild disbelief at how disrespectful House Republicans were being toward Robert Mueller, a lifelong Republican and combat veteran, during his testimony in the House of Representatives, all because he investigated the president and Russian meddling in the 2016 election (you know, to keep our country safe and ensure that future elections are not interfered with..). A family member who I always considered to be level-headed and kind commented, "Wake up..." Wake up? From what? I was watching it live. I need to wake up because what is happening in front of my face isn't real? I shouldn't believe what I'm hearing and seeing, as DT once said? I don't get it.

Before the few people who will actually read this get fully into this post, be sure to read my previous post first to understand where I'm coming from.

Over the past decade or so, I have witnessed a very noticeable change among people I've known all my life. In fact, it is a disturbing and confusing change. Family members and friends who are otherwise rational people have been gradually transforming. Specifically, they've become more fearful, more intolerant, more extreme, more close-minded, angrier, and, in some cases, outright bigoted.

They decided that it was a good idea to vote for and support a person with no political experience and who is demonstrably and woefully unfit to run the country. (Recently former Speaker of the House Paul Ryan was quoted as saying that DT "didn't know anything about government.") They continue to support him despite countless scandals, constant lies, outrageous and sometimes bigoted comments, attempts to circumvent the rule of law, complete disregard for U.S. political norms, siding with autocrats instead of our own intelligence agencies, disrespect toward military leaders, an undying refusal to release his tax returns like every other president in modern history (and indeed every presidential candidate) has done, thirty-four indictments, guilty pleas, and convictions of people in his orbit, blatant corruption, indifference to the Constitution itself, and more... so much more. Actions that, had President Obama done even one of them, would have inspired these deeply confused Americans to take to the streets with Tiki torches are simply brushed aside.

He can, in their eyes, do no wrong. And that is the problem. Generally supporting a political party/politician is fine, but supporting someone NO MATTER WHAT is not fine. That's not support; that's worship.

At this point, there is no other way to say it: They're members of a cult.

I'm not the only one who says this, either. Prominent conservative author and columnist George Will says so, as do many others. When otherwise rational people who were raised to know that things such as lying, stealing, cheating, name-calling, making fun of things people don't choose, etc. are wrong willfully and gleefully support a man and an entire political party that does all of these things and more openly and shamelessly, one can't help but conclude that they are complete and total hypocrites. This is even more apparent when they try to point out that the Democrats are the "radical" ones (since equality really is radical to them) or when they parrot one of their seemingly endless whataboutisms ("But... Hillary!").

They are doing this because they have been pulled into a cult. Really the Republican Party/American conservatism as we know it is now essentially a cult, with 90% support for a man who is himself not a Republican. He has completely hijacked and transformed one of the two major political parties of the United States. He is the folk hero to whom rules and norms do not apply, and he is the one who will lead them (in their twisted dreams) to what they truly want: a white America.

To better understand this spectacular transformation, let's do a little Republican before-and-after-The-Donald activity:

• Before: We don't like or trust Russia (think Reagan, and a little something called the Cold War). After: DT says Russia is fine, so now Russia is fine. 
• Before: Open trade is good and is part of capitalism. After: DT says we're not for open trade now. Okay.
• Before: NATO is necessary. After: NATO is no longer trustworthy.
• Before: We are the party of the military. After: "I know more than the generals." "I know more about drones than anybody." "Okay." 
• Before: We are the party of the rule of law. After: This is unprecedented intrusion and investigation into a president who has done nothing wrong.
• Before: Obama talking to Kim Jong-un is bad. After: DT talking to Kim Jong-un is incredible foreign policy and leadership.
• Before: Hillary's emails? Lock her up! After: Oh, Jared Kushner and Ivanka—two completely unqualified members of the White House staff put in place by blatant nepotism—also used private email servers? That's fine.
• Before: Bill Clinton did what in the White House!? After: DT has cheated on all three of his wives multiple times, tried to secretly pay illegal hush money to one of them, brought them to Melania's room shortly after his youngest child was born, and then incessantly lied about it? That's fine.
• Before: Obama's frivolous golf trips are costing taxpayers money. After: DT waking up late, doing his hair for an hour, watching Fox News and tweeting all day, and golfing more than any previous president, wasting our tax dollars, is totally fine.

I could go on... The changes in this party and its supporters have been simply breathtaking to observe. If their views can change so drastically, do they even truly have their own views, or do they just do whatever is necessary to oppose the Democrats? One wonders...

Alexander Hurst writes: "In an interview with Pacific Standard, Janja Lalich, a sociologist who specializes in cults, identified four characteristics of a totalistic cult and applied them to Trumpism: an all-encompassing belief system, extreme devotion to the leader, reluctance to acknowledge criticism of the group or its leader, and a disdain for nonmembers. Eileen Barker, another sociologist of cults, has written that, together, cult leaders and followers create and maintain their movement by proclaiming shared beliefs and identifying themselves as a distinguishable unit; behaving in ways that reinforce the group as a social entity, like closing themselves off to conflicting information; and stoking division and fear of enemies, real or perceived."

Now, the question is, how did people I've known all my life change so drastically? What is it about them or their environments that led to this change?

This article in Psychology Today does a great job of summing it up. Put simply, many of DT's supporters are people who are susceptible to being manipulated, especially for the following reasons:

• Conservatives are more scared/sensitive to fear
• The Dunning-Kruger effect
• The desire to see chaos reign, even if just to "stick it" to the other side
• Relative deprivation – a misguided sense of entitlement (basically, "I'm white so I deserve success.")
• A lack of exposure to other groups of people
• Some are mentally vulnerable to conspiracy theories, i.e., they are people with mental illnesses such as schizophrenia. These people are specifically targeted by Fox News, conservative radio and websites, and conservative politicians
• Some are narcissists, some fall into a category called social dominance orientation, and some have what's called authoritarian personalities
• And some are simply racists and bigots (yet let's not ignore that those who are not racists are apparently okay with racism, since it didn't prevent them from voting for him)

These reasons and others are explained well in the article above and are corroborated in other scientific and psychological sources. The idea is that, basically, many of DT's supporters are quite literally mentally unwell and therefore easily manipulated and tricked.

Let's emphasize that one more time: SCIENCE AND HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY HAVE PROVEN THAT MANY OF DT'S SUPPORTERS ARE MENTALLY UNSTABLE OR UNWELL.

After years and years of Fox News, conservative radio, weird YouTube channels, alt-right websites and forums, and conservative politicians lying to their faces, including about all other sources of news and information being biased and/or "fake," these people have been programmed to be loyal drones of the right. And they won't admit that they're wrong or mistaken or misguided. To quote Alexander Hurst again, "Those caught in the web of Trumpism do not see the deception that surrounds them." When challenged, they'll fight harder. They'll stick to their beliefs even more, even with irrefutable evidence right in front of them. This in itself proves that they are disconnected from reality. 

A rational and reasonable person observes the world around him/her and forms conclusions. He/she can also learn and admit when he's/she's wrong and then alter beliefs. That is, after all, a lot of what life is. These cult members, however, have shown that they have made the choice (I hesitate to say "conscious choice" here) to be non-learners. "What the leader and Fox and my radio tell me is the truth and nothing else can be the truth." One time a family member angrily showed me a forwarded email about Obama (because of course they're still forwarding emails about Obama to each other). I asked him to see it, Googled it, and instantly proved that it was false. He then said, "Well I still believe it."

What's happening in the U.S. right now isn't normal. Despite what they believe, they are a small minority. They and their leaders are doing great damage to our country and to the world as a whole (think of the massive conservative scheme to trick about half of Britain to vote to leave the EU against their own economic interests but because of a perceived and racist view that immigrants are "changing" their country too much, as just one example). Also, the right's uncanny ability to be fooled by outrageous conspiracy theories is nothing new. Again, it has to do with the misinformation and deception they choose to surround themselves with.

It has been researched and demonstrated that one can get out of a cult, as former gang members, religious cult members, former KKK members, and former right-wing extremists have done, but they have to do it by realizing the error of their ways first. 

Everything I've said to them or written here will likely only make them angrier. No one wants to be told that they are wrong or they have an unstable mind (even though science and psychology have proven that it's true for many). But I wrote this because I believe that deep down some of them know all of this is wrong, and maybe some of them can come back to the real America. The diverse, vibrant America built by immigrants and dreamers and pioneers, based on the Constitution, the separation of powers, limited government, individual rights and liberties, civic participation, and the rule of law.  

Supporting a man who does things we all know are wrong, who does things they teach their own kids not to do, blindly supporting a party that is systematically dismantling democracy and is unabashedly pro-rich and bigoted, has to be eating away at some of them. They know this isn't what Jesus would approve of, or what Christianity teaches. They know ignoring established facts and discriminating against others and degrading the earth is wrong. They know policies that only benefit the rich are wrong. They know that some of their fellow DT supporters calling for a civil war against Democrats and non-whites is wrong (I've seen posts about this and they are sickening). They know that supporting one person over the Constitution and the institutions of the United States is wrong.

But if we completely give up on them, then their misguided belief that America is leaving them behind will actually come true. The thing is—the truth is—because we care about this country so much, we want them back. We want the people we grew up with who are good deep down back so we can fully recognize them again. I don't want them back so they can all be Democrats/liberals; I want them back so I can see them without the visible anger and fear that currently consumes them.

In Defense of Proper English and Writing in the Age of Smartphones

I'm going to try to be reasonable and realistic here. I understand the times and the age in which we all live. I will, however, make a simple argument and, hopefully unsurprisingly, complain about what someone once said to me about my writing habits.

So, one day a friend with whom I'm still currently angry (this friend has actually inspired several of my rants — I bet you wish you knew who it was) asked me, over instant messaging on Gmail, why I always write correctly and correct typos. I was, of course, offended by this. I found it to be a) a stupid question, b) a worthless discussion, c) an unwarranted judgement, and d) a waste of time.

This friend's opinion was that because it was informal writing and because she is smart, I do not need to write properly because she can figure it out if a mistake was made, punctuation is missing, etc. She apparently thought that me writing correctly while instant messaging was somehow pretentious or pompous or something. I wrote back that writing correctly is simply what I do, what should be done, and what should be everyone's only option and habit. 

Therefore, my argument is this: We should all write properly all the time. 

Is it really that much more work? I think you can do it. It is actually more work for you if I force you to constantly decipher and infer meaning from my lazily written messages. I will say, however, that I don't really mind if you don't write properly and use modern shorthand techniques in informal settings like social media and texting (though these too require formal writing from time to time). And, yes, it may save some time. But, remember that you are forming something of a habit and you may have to really check yourself when you are writing in formal situations.

Let's not forget that our smartphones and tablets are computers with Internet access. So, if you aren't sure about a punctuation or grammar rule, look it up. This website is my go-to: https://www.grammarbook.com/

Finally, remember that we are judged by how we write. Social media is our ever-important image that we must maintain for many people in our lives, but our professional emails, cover letters, résumés, college essays, and other pieces of writing serve as our image for the other people in our lives — the people who sometimes make important decisions that affect our lives and our futures. People usually see how you write before they meet and see you. This is important for us to bear in mind.

I'll close by saying this: If you're going to break the rules of proper writing, at least know the actual rules first.

"Things Are Good. Why Do I Feel Bad?"

While some don't quite get his humor, I believe that Jerry Seinfeld is a comic genius. I grew up with his sitcom in the '90s and it, along with a handful of other influences, shaped to a great extent my own sense of humor and what I believe is funny. Jerry, like nearly all of my other idols, does not care what other people think. If you know me, you already know that this is a quality that I value highly. Jerry says what he wants, when he wants to, around whomever he's with, in any situation. In many years of doing just that, Jerry Seinfeld has actually—probably to some people's surprise—dropped some serious and legitimate pieces of real wisdom.

Most of these wise words (that I've heard anyway) have been spoken on his online show Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee (on Netflix). While cruising around and hanging out with fellow comedians, Jerry has surprised me numerous times with his many applicable and useful observations, anecdotes, and conclusions. Because the show is just Jerry and another person talking about whatever, it gives viewers a fairly unfiltered glimpse into Jerry's thoughts and beliefs.

One example of this wisdom I'm speaking of is when Jerry was describing how small, annoying things that happen to us should actually be viewed as lessons. One time he talked about (if I'm remembering correctly) a person stubbing his/her toe on the corner of the bed, and how this is just the universe teaching you that that is where the corner of the bed is. Now you know.

Things like that. He says so many things that make you go, "Hmmm... that's pretty spot on. I should remember that."

Tonight I'm going to see Kevin Hart live here in Denver, so last night I watched the episode of CICGC with him. (Hilarious, by the way.) Anyway, at one point Kevin and Jerry are talking about how Kevin grew up in some tough circumstances and realized that he had to work really hard to get out. They also discuss how Kevin's kids won't experience the same struggles he did growing up. The two of them talking about the difference went as follows:

Jerry: "Your problem was, 'Things are bad. I gotta make it good.'"
Kevin: "Yes."
Jerry: "Their problem's gonna be, 'Things are good. Why do I feel bad?'"

The reason this is so true, relevant, and powerful is because of who it's coming from. Jerry Seinfeld has anything and everything he wants, and yet, because he is so honest, his family, friends, and fans know that he is not always happy. None of us are. I think we should stop expecting to be and we should limit the extent to which we try to show the world that we are via social media.

The sudden loss of Anthony Bourdain earlier this month hit me and millions of others like a wrecking ball. There were so many questions and confused utterances: "But, why would he do that?" "He had everything." "He was rich." "He was famous." "He had the best job in the world." "He was, like, the coolest guy on earth." These things, as it turns out, do not always matter.

It is ironic that the more we reveal about ourselves on social media, the less authentic we actually are on social media (most of us, anyway). We are all guilty (it's how, intentional or not, the system is designed) of displaying only our best self—our "happy" moments, our highlights—on social media. "Look at me! I'm doing great and my life is so interesting!" Or, "Look! I'm with people!" Or, "Look at me! I'm not at home!"

I have thought for years about how this can change, but the more I think about it I realize that it probably won't and, perhaps, for good reasons. Should we turn social media into updates of the mundane minutiae of everyday life? I do not, in fact, want to know that you have aggressive diarrhea today. No, it will stay the same: our highlights. And maybe that's okay.

But, I argue here that we should focus less on "is this an Instagrammable moment?" and "Wow, look at him/her. I wish I..." We need to compare our lives to others much, much less. We need to be okay with the ups and downs of our emotions. We should appreciate and value what we do have. We need to always remember that we live relatively comfortable and even luxurious lives compared to billions (yes, with a "b") of other people around the world.

In closing, I encourage you to read this article and watch the episode of The Break with Michelle Wolf on Netflix. She does a fantastic job of addressing this issue and asserts that it should be okay for us to say that we're not doing great sometimes. And that we should listen when those close to us say it too.

Six Years Down

My sixth year of teaching is complete. Like every year, I learned more than I thought I would. That is, really, one of the most incredible things about teaching — how you can keep learning new things, learn more about how to do your job, learn more about students/teenagers and their parents, learn more about how the politics of education really work, and learn more about yourself.

Overall, it was a good year and I did a good job. I only took one day off, my students learned a lot and became better students and better people, I taught two new classes that I had never taught before, I helped design the new economics curriculum for the district, I learned some important lessons, I sharpened many skills, I received many letters of thanks and appreciation from students, and I feel more ready to continue the daily battle.

Now, I will say, with some (not much) guilt, that I did my fair share of complaining with colleagues this year. This was the year, after all, that teachers across the country put their foots down and said, "I've had it." The many walkouts and strikes should serve as a pretty big wake-up call to the clowns and crooks who make education policy while lacking the requisite experience in education. It should also serve as a wake-up call to the everyday American, the one who thinks that teachers have it "easy" because we "get off" at 3:30 and have summers "off." Once again, as I've said numerous times, come to my classroom for one day. Come see how it really is.

My colleagues (without whom I don't know if I would have survived this year, actually) and I vented daily about the countless injustices in education, the lack of awareness of our administrators and the instructional superintendents who tell them what to do, the plight of teachers fighting against the students' apathy and phone obsessions, the goofy things students did or said in our classes, how much we have to deal with each day, and how, despite all of this, people still don't give us the respect we deserve. We also frequently talked about our good students—the ones who give us the hope to continue—and successful teaching strategies. We shared funny stories and helped each other with ideas. We made each other better and kept each other afloat. I owe so much to Mr. T and Mr. M, both of whom will not be returning to my school next year.

This year, as I was growing increasingly frustrated with my school's administration, I came to the realization that I don't even work for them. Technically, the principal is my boss, but only technically. I don't do the work I do for him. I don't go in each day and think, "Well, I need to make the boss happy today." I do it for my students, for society, for me. 

I am the boss of my students. I like being the boss. And, as I have realized, I am my own boss. No one makes me go home after an exhausting day and do more work until 10 p.m. No one makes me work all weekend. I do it because I believe in what I'm doing. Yes, of course, I kind of have to to succeed at my job, but I don't do it for the principal. I don't have ill feelings towards him or the assistant principals; it's just that in my way of thinking, I am the only boss that I need.

Now, to shift gears, I will once again urge any parents that may be reading this to limit your kids' screen time and MAKE THEM read actual books. If your child is not reading at grade level by the end of third grade, statistics show that he/she might not ever catch up (and, according to those same statistics, will be more likely to commit crimes as an adult). It is up to the parents first and foremost to prepare their kids for the world, so please do. Also, make sure your kids have a nice, quiet, comfortable place at home to do homework, study, and read (even/especially during breaks from school). While they do homework or study, take their phones away. Set time limits. Something like 20 minutes working, 8-10 minutes break, 20 minutes working again will work well.

The big lesson that all of us need to learn is that teachers cannot—and should not be expected to—solve every problem or completely "fix" kids that need help. Parents and the schools themselves (that is, administration and other staff, not just teachers) must do more.