"Things Are Good. Why Do I Feel Bad?"

While some don't quite get his humor, I believe that Jerry Seinfeld is a comic genius. I grew up with his sitcom in the '90s and it, along with a handful of other influences, shaped to a great extent my own sense of humor and what I believe is funny. Jerry, like nearly all of my other idols, does not care what other people think. If you know me, you already know that this is a quality that I value highly. Jerry says what he wants, when he wants to, around whomever he's with, in any situation. In many years of doing just that, Jerry Seinfeld has actually—probably to some people's surprise—dropped some serious and legitimate pieces of real wisdom.

Most of these wise words (that I've heard anyway) have been spoken on his online show Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee (on Netflix). While cruising around and hanging out with fellow comedians, Jerry has surprised me numerous times with his many applicable and useful observations, anecdotes, and conclusions. Because the show is just Jerry and another person talking about whatever, it gives viewers a fairly unfiltered glimpse into Jerry's thoughts and beliefs.

One example of this wisdom I'm speaking of is when Jerry was describing how small, annoying things that happen to us should actually be viewed as lessons. One time he talked about (if I'm remembering correctly) a person stubbing his/her toe on the corner of the bed, and how this is just the universe teaching you that that is where the corner of the bed is. Now you know.

Things like that. He says so many things that make you go, "Hmmm... that's pretty spot on. I should remember that."

Tonight I'm going to see Kevin Hart live here in Denver, so last night I watched the episode of CICGC with him. (Hilarious, by the way.) Anyway, at one point Kevin and Jerry are talking about how Kevin grew up in some tough circumstances and realized that he had to work really hard to get out. They also discuss how Kevin's kids won't experience the same struggles he did growing up. The two of them talking about the difference went as follows:

Jerry: "Your problem was, 'Things are bad. I gotta make it good.'"
Kevin: "Yes."
Jerry: "Their problem's gonna be, 'Things are good. Why do I feel bad?'"

The reason this is so true, relevant, and powerful is because of who it's coming from. Jerry Seinfeld has anything and everything he wants, and yet, because he is so honest, his family, friends, and fans know that he is not always happy. None of us are. I think we should stop expecting to be and we should limit the extent to which we try to show the world that we are via social media.

The sudden loss of Anthony Bourdain earlier this month hit me and millions of others like a wrecking ball. There were so many questions and confused utterances: "But, why would he do that?" "He had everything." "He was rich." "He was famous." "He had the best job in the world." "He was, like, the coolest guy on earth." These things, as it turns out, do not always matter.

It is ironic that the more we reveal about ourselves on social media, the less authentic we actually are on social media (most of us, anyway). We are all guilty (it's how, intentional or not, the system is designed) of displaying only our best self—our "happy" moments, our highlights—on social media. "Look at me! I'm doing great and my life is so interesting!" Or, "Look! I'm with people!" Or, "Look at me! I'm not at home!"

I have thought for years about how this can change, but the more I think about it I realize that it probably won't and, perhaps, for good reasons. Should we turn social media into updates of the mundane minutiae of everyday life? I do not, in fact, want to know that you have aggressive diarrhea today. No, it will stay the same: our highlights. And maybe that's okay.

But, I argue here that we should focus less on "is this an Instagrammable moment?" and "Wow, look at him/her. I wish I..." We need to compare our lives to others much, much less. We need to be okay with the ups and downs of our emotions. We should appreciate and value what we do have. We need to always remember that we live relatively comfortable and even luxurious lives compared to billions (yes, with a "b") of other people around the world.

In closing, I encourage you to read this article and watch the episode of The Break with Michelle Wolf on Netflix. She does a fantastic job of addressing this issue and asserts that it should be okay for us to say that we're not doing great sometimes. And that we should listen when those close to us say it too.