"Things Are Good. Why Do I Feel Bad?"

While some don't quite get his humor, I believe that Jerry Seinfeld is a comic genius. I grew up with his sitcom in the '90s and it, along with a handful of other influences, shaped to a great extent my own sense of humor and what I believe is funny. Jerry, like nearly all of my other idols, does not care what other people think. If you know me, you already know that this is a quality that I value highly. Jerry says what he wants, when he wants to, around whomever he's with, in any situation. In many years of doing just that, Jerry Seinfeld has actually—probably to some people's surprise—dropped some serious and legitimate pieces of real wisdom.

Most of these wise words (that I've heard anyway) have been spoken on his online show Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee (on Netflix). While cruising around and hanging out with fellow comedians, Jerry has surprised me numerous times with his many applicable and useful observations, anecdotes, and conclusions. Because the show is just Jerry and another person talking about whatever, it gives viewers a fairly unfiltered glimpse into Jerry's thoughts and beliefs.

One example of this wisdom I'm speaking of is when Jerry was describing how small, annoying things that happen to us should actually be viewed as lessons. One time he talked about (if I'm remembering correctly) a person stubbing his/her toe on the corner of the bed, and how this is just the universe teaching you that that is where the corner of the bed is. Now you know.

Things like that. He says so many things that make you go, "Hmmm... that's pretty spot on. I should remember that."

Tonight I'm going to see Kevin Hart live here in Denver, so last night I watched the episode of CICGC with him. (Hilarious, by the way.) Anyway, at one point Kevin and Jerry are talking about how Kevin grew up in some tough circumstances and realized that he had to work really hard to get out. They also discuss how Kevin's kids won't experience the same struggles he did growing up. The two of them talking about the difference went as follows:

Jerry: "Your problem was, 'Things are bad. I gotta make it good.'"
Kevin: "Yes."
Jerry: "Their problem's gonna be, 'Things are good. Why do I feel bad?'"

The reason this is so true, relevant, and powerful is because of who it's coming from. Jerry Seinfeld has anything and everything he wants, and yet, because he is so honest, his family, friends, and fans know that he is not always happy. None of us are. I think we should stop expecting to be and we should limit the extent to which we try to show the world that we are via social media.

The sudden loss of Anthony Bourdain earlier this month hit me and millions of others like a wrecking ball. There were so many questions and confused utterances: "But, why would he do that?" "He had everything." "He was rich." "He was famous." "He had the best job in the world." "He was, like, the coolest guy on earth." These things, as it turns out, do not always matter.

It is ironic that the more we reveal about ourselves on social media, the less authentic we actually are on social media (most of us, anyway). We are all guilty (it's how, intentional or not, the system is designed) of displaying only our best self—our "happy" moments, our highlights—on social media. "Look at me! I'm doing great and my life is so interesting!" Or, "Look! I'm with people!" Or, "Look at me! I'm not at home!"

I have thought for years about how this can change, but the more I think about it I realize that it probably won't and, perhaps, for good reasons. Should we turn social media into updates of the mundane minutiae of everyday life? I do not, in fact, want to know that you have aggressive diarrhea today. No, it will stay the same: our highlights. And maybe that's okay.

But, I argue here that we should focus less on "is this an Instagrammable moment?" and "Wow, look at him/her. I wish I..." We need to compare our lives to others much, much less. We need to be okay with the ups and downs of our emotions. We should appreciate and value what we do have. We need to always remember that we live relatively comfortable and even luxurious lives compared to billions (yes, with a "b") of other people around the world.

In closing, I encourage you to read this article and watch the episode of The Break with Michelle Wolf on Netflix. She does a fantastic job of addressing this issue and asserts that it should be okay for us to say that we're not doing great sometimes. And that we should listen when those close to us say it too.

Six Years Down

My sixth year of teaching is complete. Like every year, I learned more than I thought I would. That is, really, one of the most incredible things about teaching — how you can keep learning new things, learn more about how to do your job, learn more about students/teenagers and their parents, learn more about how the politics of education really work, and learn more about yourself.

Overall, it was a good year and I did a good job. I only took one day off, my students learned a lot and became better students and better people, I taught two new classes that I had never taught before, I helped design the new economics curriculum for the district, I learned some important lessons, I sharpened many skills, I received many letters of thanks and appreciation from students, and I feel more ready to continue the daily battle.

Now, I will say, with some (not much) guilt, that I did my fair share of complaining with colleagues this year. This was the year, after all, that teachers across the country put their foots down and said, "I've had it." The many walkouts and strikes should serve as a pretty big wake-up call to the clowns and crooks who make education policy while lacking the requisite experience in education. It should also serve as a wake-up call to the everyday American, the one who thinks that teachers have it "easy" because we "get off" at 3:30 and have summers "off." Once again, as I've said numerous times, come to my classroom for one day. Come see how it really is.

My colleagues (without whom I don't know if I would have survived this year, actually) and I vented daily about the countless injustices in education, the lack of awareness of our administrators and the instructional superintendents who tell them what to do, the plight of teachers fighting against the students' apathy and phone obsessions, the goofy things students did or said in our classes, how much we have to deal with each day, and how, despite all of this, people still don't give us the respect we deserve. We also frequently talked about our good students—the ones who give us the hope to continue—and successful teaching strategies. We shared funny stories and helped each other with ideas. We made each other better and kept each other afloat. I owe so much to Mr. T and Mr. M, both of whom will not be returning to my school next year.

This year, as I was growing increasingly frustrated with my school's administration, I came to the realization that I don't even work for them. Technically, the principal is my boss, but only technically. I don't do the work I do for him. I don't go in each day and think, "Well, I need to make the boss happy today." I do it for my students, for society, for me. 

I am the boss of my students. I like being the boss. And, as I have realized, I am my own boss. No one makes me go home after an exhausting day and do more work until 10 p.m. No one makes me work all weekend. I do it because I believe in what I'm doing. Yes, of course, I kind of have to to succeed at my job, but I don't do it for the principal. I don't have ill feelings towards him or the assistant principals; it's just that in my way of thinking, I am the only boss that I need.

Now, to shift gears, I will once again urge any parents that may be reading this to limit your kids' screen time and MAKE THEM read actual books. If your child is not reading at grade level by the end of third grade, statistics show that he/she might not ever catch up (and, according to those same statistics, will be more likely to commit crimes as an adult). It is up to the parents first and foremost to prepare their kids for the world, so please do. Also, make sure your kids have a nice, quiet, comfortable place at home to do homework, study, and read (even/especially during breaks from school). While they do homework or study, take their phones away. Set time limits. Something like 20 minutes working, 8-10 minutes break, 20 minutes working again will work well.

The big lesson that all of us need to learn is that teachers cannot—and should not be expected to—solve every problem or completely "fix" kids that need help. Parents and the schools themselves (that is, administration and other staff, not just teachers) must do more.