Senior Ditch Day 2015

A fascinating social phenomenon is allegedly taking place tomorrow at my school: the so-called "Senior Ditch Day," in which adolescents aged 17 to 18—including those who may or may not graduate from a U.S. high school in June—plan to skip school for the day in the hopes of achieving some level of satisfaction by engaging in a semi-planned escapade wherein the participants' social needs and basic need for belonging will ostensibly be fulfilled. While on the surface level one may understand their collective desire to have fun on a day when they should be in school, however when examined by the more astute among us, we find a few if not a multitude of flaws.

Firstly among said flaws: these young scholars seem to have overlooked or ignored the fact that they will be done with high school forever in a few short weeks, giving them ample time (i.e., the rest of their lives) to "hang out."

Secondly, perhaps in the their collective excitement they've over-romanticized this experience, hoping that some sort of epic outing will occur in which all of the seniors will be in attendance and they'll all actually know/care about each other and will have the most fun day ever, when in reality, the seniors who do attend will likely realize within minutes that they, in fact, (a) don't know most other seniors, and (b) don't care about most other seniors.

Thirdly, once flaw number two (see above) is realized and accepted, this would-be glorious adventure will fizzle out and leave a number of small factions of friends/sort-of-friends, which will largely resemble their daily routine at school during lunch (only in a different geographical location), thereby making the outing significantly less exciting than originally semi-planned. Furthermore, the seniors who attend that have fewer friends will then be thrust into a state of awkwardness far surpassing what they regularly experience on a daily basis, which is, admittedly, quite sad, because they're probably decent-enough kids.

Fourthly (that's kind of fun to say/write, since it's kind of rare, you know?), the seniors that attend this overly hyped misadventure will most likely realize that, in fact, it's just a let's-show-off-our-best-outfit convention, which isn't unlike any normal day at school anyway.

The fifth flaw is as follows: If this ditch day were to somehow achieve some semblance of success in one way or another (despite significant shortcomings in planning and communication), the seniors would discover that their years-long addiction to smart phones has dramatically impaired their social faculties, thus crippling the would-be and hoped-for fun that they all kind of wished for, leaving in its stead short, uncomfortable, small-talk-based conversations which will resemble elevator conversations or conversations you might be forced to have with a cousin's new boyfriend or something. Plus the sun will make it hard to see the screens, and we all know that's like, totally annoying.

Lastly, the potential graduates may well go through the entire day not realizing that the seniors who just stayed home had more fun than them.

In conclusion, I wish the members of the Class of 2015 well. May tomorrow be a memorable experience for them all.